#BookReview & #GiveAway: Parrot Talk by David B. Seaburn On Tour

I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Parrot TalkSummary:

At the age of 14 and 11, brothers, Lucas and Grinder’s mother has left them and their alcoholic father. They never hear from her again.
Out of the blue a friend of their mother, Janice, contacts Lucas with the news that their mother has died. She asks them to come to Pittsburgh to take care of her effects, chief among them being Paul. Reluctantly, Lucas and Grinder head for Pittsburgh where they meet Janice and learn that Paul is their mother’s African grey parrot. Turns out that Paul has things to say that turn the brothers’ worlds upside down, especially regarding their mother.
This is a humorous look at matters of consequence—abandonment, alcoholism, grief and loss of a mother, living without clear answers, the relationship between brothers, separation and reconciliation and hope. It is also about a father who carries a piece of Jesus with him in a Ziploc baggie, a parrot who likes to get stoned, and a brother who cleans dead animals off the streets for a living.

Review:

David B. Seaburn captures the true essence of what children go through when one parent walks out on them leaving them with the parent that cares more about the beer bottle. The love that Lucas and Grinder have for one another is palpable throughout each page; most vividly as I got to the end of the story. I was in love with the two of these characters.
While I did not care for Martha at all, she had her place within the fabric of the story being told. I was happier once I realized that importance, because she was growing old on me. Even Pop won my heart.
Using Paul, their Mother’s African Grey Parrot as a bridge of love between Mother and son was such a genius idea. It was not only riveting; it was endearing. I only wanted that bird to be safe by the time I finished this book. I bet you will wish the same!
This was a super fast read, great for a one-nighter!

3.5 Stars.

GIVEAWAY: LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW TO BE ENTERED INTO A GIVEAWAY OF YOUR CHOICE, PRINT OR EBOOK COPY. WINNER ANNOUNCED NOVEMBER 8TH.

Excerpt:

Parrot Talk by David B. Seaburn
Introduction to excerpt: Grinder discovers Paul, the parrot, lying on his back in the bathtub. Turns out Paul pilfered a bag of marijuana from a suitcase in their motel room and then proceeded to eat some of it. This leads to an emergency visit to the vet’s where Grinder immediately become enamored with their veterinarian, Grace.

“Paul?” Grinder knelt down beside the tub, but Paul didn’t seem to notice he was there. In fact, Paul didn’t move. He didn’t blink. But when a drip fell from the faucet, he made what could only be called a laughing sound. “Hee eee eee eee aww.” Then he fell silent again, watching and waiting.
“Paul? Buddy?” Grinder reached for Paul but another drip was about to fall. Paul opened his mouth in delight and squealed.
“Wow.” Paul’s lids were at half-mast. The corners of his mouth were drawn up in a goofy grin. Another drip. Paul’s stomach shuddered with a deep guffaw. He blinked slowly.
Grinder reached for Paul and patted his belly. “Hey.”
Paul startled when he recognized Grinder. “Hey, man.” He stood up and then slipped and fell on his side. He laughed. “Do that thing again,” he said to the faucet.
“Paul, are you okay?” But Paul was pecking affectionately at his reflection in the chrome fixture. “Paul?” He put his hand on Paul’s back, steadying him because he was about to fall again.
“Paul hungry, Paul hungry. Dorito time, Millie. Dorito time. Millie, Millie.” Paul waddled to the back slope of the bathtub, dropped down on the porcelain and slid on his belly toward the faucet. “Oooooooooooo-eeeee!”
“What the hell.”
Paul rolled over and looked at Grinder through blood shot eyes. “Dorito time, Millie; Dorito time.”
Grinder scurried to the mini-bar and retrieved a bag of Doritos. He tore them open and held one out to Paul who grabbed the bag instead and ripped it apart. He munched furiously while watching for another drip.
When Grinder slipped out of the room to get a bag of nuts, he noticed his duffel bag, which lay open on the floor. Beside it was a Ziploc baggie, a hole gnawed through it and marijuana buds scattered on the carpet. “Shit.” He picked up the remaining pot and flushed it down the toilet while Paul stood in the bathtub, mesmerized by his shiny new chrome friend.
Grinder leafed through the phone book and found a number for the Greater Pittsburgh Animal Urgent Care Center.
“Hello…yes, it’s an emergency…uh huh, my bird…a parrot…okay, yeah, well, I think he’s ODed on some weed…yes, marijuana…no, I didn’t give it to him…no, he doesn’t smoke…ate it, uh huh…okay, okay.”
Grinder went back into the bathroom where Paul had just discovered the shower head.
“Look!” he said.
“C’mon, buddy.” Grinder took a face towel and wrapped it around Paul and cradled him in his arms, Doritos falling from Paul’s mouth.
“More crunchy, more crunchy.”
Grinder opened the mini-bar again and grabbed another bag. He reached for the car keys on the counter and tiptoed past Lucas and Martha’s room.
“Weeeeeeeeeee,” said Paul.
When they arrived at the Urgent Care Center, they were immediately ushered into an exam room where they waited for another fifteen minutes. Paul’s mood had changed. He was singin’ the blues.
“Nobody knows the trouble…”
Grinder tried to perch him on the back of a chair, hoping it would help Paul regain his balance. Wobbly at first, soon Paul was able to stand steady with barely a wing shuffle. Minutes later, he was ambulating without any visible sign of difficulty. His mood, though, hadn’t improved.
“Millie gone.”
“I know, buddy.” Grinder pulled him a little closer. Paul noticed the bag of Doritos and dove in.
When the exam room door opened, Grinder watched as a tall, waifish, middle-agey woman entered the room, her stringy brown bangs covering her ample forehead unevenly. She pushed her horn rimmed glasses up her beak-like nose and clutched a medical chart to her chest. She wore a beige shell, an indifferent knee-length dress and New Balance sneakers. Her hair was pulled back on both sides with yellow barrettes. And her eyes were large a saucers and brown as Hershey’s kisses. She smiled, her teeth as bright as piano keys, her face as welcoming as a summer sunrise. Grinder’s mouth fell open at the sight of her.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Napolitano, one of the vets. You can call me Grace.”
Grinder held his breath. His brain went all monosyllabic on him. “Uh. Wha. Ha.” She extended her hand and it hung out there for an inordinately long time. Grinder knew what it was but didn’t appear to know what to do with it. Instead he grinned a big toothy grin and then snorted when he finally took a breath. He reached for her hand just as she withdrew it. But she kindly reached out again and he took hold of her thumb. To his credit he let go almost immediately.
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Grinder was still grinning.
She laughed, a sweet, lilting laugh. “Let’s try that again.”
This time Grinder was on his game. He took her hand gently in his and shook it an appropriate number of times before letting go. Success. He slumped into his chair again, then quickly straightened his back. He combed his hair with his fingers and cleared his throat. Her hand had been soft, her palm silky and warm to the touch. She reached for Paul, scratched his head and caressed his back slowly. “Hello there, you must be Paul,” she said in a near whisper. “You’ve been through a lot.” She caught Grinder’s eye and smiled knowingly. “Both of you have, I guess.”

About David B. SeaburnDavid Seaburn
David B. Seaburn has been a Presbyterian pastor of a small country church, an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Family Medicine at a leading university medical center, a pioneer in the field of Medical Family Therapy, and a prolific author.
Since 2005, Seaburn has published six novels. His newest, ‘Parrot Talk’, was released in May 2017 by Black Rose Writing. He also writes a blog for Psychology Today magazine, “Going Out Not Knowing.” Seaburn was a Finalist for the National Indie Excellence Awards in fiction for his novel, ‘Charlie No Face’ (2011). He is currently an instructor at Writers and Books in Rochester NY. Seaburn is married with two married daughters and two wonderful granddaughters. A third grandchild is on the way.

Website: www.davidbseaburn.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/david.seaburn
Twitter: twitter.com/dseaburn

Buy Parrot Talk by David B. Seaburn
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#Spotlight & #Excerpt ~ “The New Mrs. D” by Heather Hill

The New Mrs. Dclp button

 

The New Mrs DSummary:
Four days into their honeymoon in Greece, Bernice and David Dando have yet to consummate their marriage and after having accepted his almost non-existent desire for sex throughout the relationship, Bernice finally discovers the reason; he is addicted to porn. Learning that the love of her life chooses the cheap thrill of fantasy over her is devastating but then, ‘every man does it; it’s just looking, right?’ If she leaves the relationship because of virtual adultery, will she be labelled as pathological, overreacting, or even worse, frigid?

When funny, feisty, forty-something Bernice plans the adventure trip of a lifetime, she doesn’t expect to be spending it alone. But as it turns out, unintentionally contributing to a Greek fish explosion, nude karaoke and hilarious misadventures with volcanoes are exactly what she needs to stop fretting about errant husbands and really start living. But when Mr D tries to win her back, Bernice has a decision to make: is this a holiday from her humdrum life, or the start of a whole new adventure?

“The New Mrs D is a refreshing, sharp-witted and empowering romp that reflects real life, delves into unspoken about subjects and slaps the reader in the face with honesty.” Fleur Ferris, author

It is a story about one woman’s midlife awakening… on her honeymoon alone.

Click Here for My Review

Excerpt:

Would a stolen pencil really warrant such an elaborate daylight operation? Of course not, stupid woman. Maybe I was being mugged. Was it the stash of Euros in my purse I’d flashed while paying for the moped? Oh no, wait – they surely weren’t after my faux diamond emblazoned Primark flip-flops?

In a panic, I kicked one off into the path of an elderly couple as they strolled out from a hotel car park. The shoe shot straight into the old man’s portly, bare stomach with a sickening slap.

‘They have the diamonds!’ I called, mercilessly pointing them out to the gangsters before whizzing onwards to make my getaway.

But it was all for nothing; the roar of bikes continued behind me. I slowed to turn a corner into another side street and heard a shout.

‘Stop! Mrs Dando! You stop NOW!’

What on earth could they want? I reached down with one hand, trying to take the other flip-flop off to throw back as a ransom, but dropping it instead. As I cursed myself and looked up, an ancient Greek woman on a scooter was zipping round a bend straight at me, only swerving at the last second to avoid a collision.

‘What the…’

‘WAAAAHHHH!!!’ We screamed the last part in unison; ‘Waaaahhhh’, it transpired, being the international synonym for ‘OH SHIIIIIT!’ In an instant, her front wheel bounced off the kerb, sending both the old lady, and the basket of lemons balanced on her handlebars, flying, Frank Spencer style through the air towards a couple of teenage boys. Christ, I’m in a Carry On film.

‘Save the lemons!’ I called back, rattling onwards with no time to look behind again or wonder why my first manic thoughts were for Frank Spencer and the fruit – not the little old lady. Speeding away from the increasing chaos behind, I rounded a honking car pulling out from a driveway and yelled at its startled occupants, ‘CALL THE POLICE!’

Despite the throttle being fully open it seemed the tiny moped engine had no more to give and the roar from the biker gang got closer. Turning round once more, I could see the two bikes were still in hot pursuit, and for the first time I noticed the boy had a very fat man riding pillion. So there were four of them! And the fourth had mad lady-killer written all over him. Heart pounding with fear, I grabbed the nearest thing to a weapon from the moped basket and began hurling ammunition overhead at the assailants. However, taking my eyes off the road to lob miniature chocolate croissants was a last, fatal mistake.

Crunch!

The moped bumped straight up a kerb, sending my stomach boinging up to my lungs and my knicker tops rolling back down below my belly again, as the bike came to a near halt. This was it, the end. I waited for my life to flash in front of me… but a massive, spiny bush got there first. Without testing the moped’s brakes and fuelled by an extraordinary burst of adrenaline, I dived off, sending it ploughing, un-helmed, into the bush. This was where, in a moment of TV cop-esque brilliance, I rolled over-and-over onto a grass bank before springing back to my feet.

‘Whoa!’ For a split second, Mrs David Dando was Lara Croft; crime-fighting, tomb raiding stunt rider. That was until My Big Fat Greek Assassin got off his bike and made towards me and I remembered who I actually was. Bawling Binnie – with her knickers rolling down again.

‘Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me! I’m unarmed!’ I yelled, trying – and failing – to get my helmet off before throwing up my hands in surrender to the waiting gang.

‘Other side, Mrs Dando! Other side!’ yelled Zorba the Crook, taking a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe bits of chocolate and pastry from his fat sweaty face. Spying his accomplices coming up behind, I turned around and flung myself face down in the dirt with my hands behind my still helmeted head.

‘Okay, okay,’ I whimpered, ‘just, please don’t hurt me.’

There are moments that should flash through your mind when you think death is imminent; the faces of loved ones, lifelong friends, long-forgotten happy moments, childhood memories. This was my crucial moment – and I was going to die wondering if Greece had body bags big enough for me in this colossal monstrosity of a biking helmet.

The Fat Assassin flopped down beside me and prodded my shoulder. ‘Oh God,’ I thought. ‘He’s really mad! Goodbye cruel world!’

Dear Facebook, today I was so hot. Oops, bloody mobile phone typos! I was s-h-o-t. 

‘Mrs Dando…’

As I lay there with my eyes screwed shut waiting to feel a gun in my ribs, (please God let it be a gun in his pocket) hearing him huffing like a muddy, wet contestant on Total Wipeout, his voice took on a calmer, more sinister tone.

‘I not kill you. You kill yourself.’

I froze. Oh my God, he was going to make me shoot me.

I heard him take another deep breath and cough. ‘Mrs Dando,’ he said finally. ‘You drive with the moped on the other side!’

‘I didn’t mean… I wasn’t… oh!’ Ah. Right… I rolled back over to face him, but again, met with nothing but blackness. Bloody helmet! So, I wasn’t going to be bumped off for stealing the island’s only pencil. Or for assault with a supersized bag of mini croissants.

Twisting the monstrous headgear off and easing myself upright, I was met by four nonplussed faces caked in, well… cake.

‘Oh,’ I said, smoothing my hair in an attempt to recuperate some composure. ‘Well, er… why didn’t you just say so?’

heather hillAuthor Bio
Heather Hill is a Scotland based comedy writer, author and mum of five (not the band). She is one of a rare kind; the rare kind being one of only 0.5% of women who are colourblind. She has been known to leave the house with blue eyebrows on at least one occasion. Her debut novel, ‘The New Mrs D’ is being pitched for film by a British TV comedy producer and Snipper Films.

Website: www.hell4heather.com
Twitter & Instagram name: @hell4heather
Links to buy The New Mrs D:
Amazon UK 
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00P4D57KQ
Amazon US http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Mrs-Heather-Hill-ebook/dp/B00P4D57KQ
Paperback: 
https://www.bookdepository.com/New-Mrs-D-Heather-Hill/9781634157735

Also available to order at all UK Waterstones, Foyles Bookstores & WH Smiths branches

CLICK HERE FOR GIVEAWAY

 

 

#AuthorSpotlight ~ Barbara Hinske

Barbara HinskeThis week we will be meeting Barbara Hinske! Her Interview and Giveaway will be posted on Friday! I will introduce you to all of her books, as well as my review of “Coming to Rosemont”!!!

Be sure to check back every day for new and exciting information!

Author Bio:

Barbara Hinske is a BookBub Bestselling Author. She is an attorney by day; novelist by night. Barb inherited the writing gene from her father who wrote mysteries when he retired and told her a story every night of her childhood. She and her husband share their own Rosemont with two adorable and spoiled dogs. The old house keeps her husband busy with repair projects and her happily decorating, entertaining, cooking, and gardening. Together they have four grown children.

#AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: Patricia Sands

Patricia Sands Biography

Patiricia Sands

We had an intimate interview, that will post on Friday.

We will also be Hosting a Giveaway of the 1st two books in her “Love in Provence” Series.

Patricia Sands lives in Toronto, Canada, when she isn’t somewhere else. An admitted travel fanatic, she can pack a bag in a flash and be ready to go anywhere … particularly the south of France.

Her award-winning debut novel The Bridge Club was published in 2010 and her second novel, The Promise of Provence was an Amazon Hot New Release in April 2013, a USA Best Book 2013 Finalist and a 2013 Finalist in Literary Fiction, National Indie Excellence Awards. In 2015, eLit Books Silver Award (Literary Fiction) ~ and ~ eLit Books Gold Award (Travel Fiction).

Due to tremendous reader response, The Promise of Provence became Book #1 in the Love In Provence series. Promises To Keep ~ Book #2 was released in Summer 2014. Book #3 will be released in February 2016. The series explores a mid-life coming of age and allows readers to lose themselves in the beauty of the south of France without leaving home. Patricia was invited to join the Lake Union imprint (Women’s Fiction) of Amazon Publishing in January 2015.

Celebrating the rewarding friendships and bonds women share, her stories examine the challenges life often throws in our paths. Location features prominently in all of her novels.

Frequently invited to speak with women’s groups on the subjects of writing and self-publishing, topics also cover the importance of valuing our personal stories and seeing ageing as opportunity. At other events along with her Sommers & Sands speaking partner, through keynotes, workshops and conferences, audiences are encouraged to embrace change and see challenges as opportunities.

Her philosophy is that it’s never too late to begin something new, to seize each day and be a possibilitarian! As the saying goes, just do it! Hearing from readers (both men and women, from ages 20 to 84) is her greatest reward.